Bringing up children in the US: Are we doing the right thing?

A few days ago, I was looking at my calendar for the week. It looked very busy, and it struck me that I had practically no free time during the week. All the time was divided up between work and kids' activities. I was amazed by the number of activities that our kids were enrolled in.


When I grew up, I was also encouraged to learn a lot of things, but only few of those were organized activities. It seems that in this country, as we raise our children, their lives are being run by these organized activities. There seems to be very little time for them to just play or to develop their own thought process. I don't know if this is true across ethnic boundaries or not, but I believe that (Asian) Indian parents are a little too demanding. We have very high expectations of our kids in all walks of life. They must excel in school, and grades below A+ are always met with frowns and unkind words. They must also excel in every activity that they are enrolled in. Just watch the expressions of an Indian parent when their child is struggling to do something, or will not follow instructions. That expression tells the whole story.


I hate my life at times because it seems too stressful, but at least I had an easier childhood. For some reason, I am denying my children even that easy childhood. My rationale is that it is important to have as many skills as possible because the world continues to become flatter, and more and more competitive everyday. The activities also keep them away from spending too much time watching TV or surfing the web. But I often wonder if we are creating a more skilled person, who will be an active member of the society or someone who will simply be burned out by the time she becomes old enough to contribute to the society. Previously, I used to sign my kids up for activities without much thought, but I no longer do that. I have also begun to respect my kids' opinions and their level of interest in these activities.


If you are a parent who identifies with this situation, it may be worthwhile to clear your calendar just for a weekend and spend some time thinking about this.