One Can Always Improve

This is an essay I submitted to "This I Believe" on NPR.

I believe in constant self-improvement. I believe in living the best life that I can live and I believe in being the best person that I can be. I have seen the power of constant self-improvement; not only has my life become happier, I have also helped other people become better.

This belief in constant self-improvement is somewhat recent, but I can see that it has been getting reinforced over my lifetime. I have learned the most from my parents, especially from my father. His constant desire to improve and learn has always inspired me. I always questioned some of his pursuits – you see, I could not see the value of pursuing something that was not sellable. I was also always annoyed by his humility; he would have a wealth of knowledge about a subject, yet he would let others teach him as if he knew nothing. While I failed to learn all the good virtues from him in my early years, I did learn one important thing from him which was the importance of prayer and faith. I learned to pray to God not to ask for something, but to thank Him for everything that’s going well. I have learned the importance of compromise from my mother. The ability to compromise is probably one thing that has helped me the most throughout my life.

I grew up living a rather easy life in many ways. I was always good on the academic front, and I also had the knack for picking up new things and doing well be it art and craft, singing, Scrabble, chess or ping pong. This naturally led to arrogance. I got used to this image of being naturally good. I was so arrogant that I was willing to lie about things just to project a better image of myself. This always made things difficult for me, as lies invariably lead to more lies and painful revelations.

My first inspiration to change my ways came after I read the autobiography of Mahatma Gandhi. I could not believe that there could be so much goodness in anyone. The Mahatma taught me the value of charity and the fact that self-help is the best help. What this frail frame was able to accomplish with just the goodness in his heart was nothing short of miraculous.

I have been very fortunate to have interacted with wonderful people; one who showed me the virtue of being humble and another who taught me that you can rise from a state of deep despair and turn failure into success.

Some great books written by H. Jackson Brown, Zig Ziglar, John Tesh and my dad that I read over the last few years have also changed my outlook quite a bit. They have convinced me that one can always improve and that constant self-improvement is the right path to happiness. I wish I had read these books when I was in my twenties but as they say, “Better late than never.”

Today, I am trying my best to improve myself on all fronts. My relationships with everyone, near and far, my work ethic, my health, my charity and my faith are all getting better and stronger. In some cases it is trying to do more, in others it is trying to do less or stopping altogether. As a result, I am finding myself living a happier and more fruitful life. Psychology tells us that a personality is formed within the first ten years of life and it is very hard to change it. While a complete change may not be possible, it is always possible to become a better person and one should always look for opportunities to improve.

Double Standard or Negligence

I don't know if this is a case of double standard, or merely a negligent attitude when I see people behave in ways that I would not expect. I am talking about people's behavior in the workplace as opposed to what they might do at home. I sincerely believe that everyone likes to live in a home that is neat and clean, and I am sure that people try to do their best on that front.

It puzzles me that the same behavior is not seen in the workplace. Let me give you specific examples from where I work. People will not clean up if they make a mess in the microwave. I see folks putting sugar in their coffee and tea, and if they spill some of that sugar, it remains on the countertop well after they are gone unless someone else cleans that up. Empty containers typically suffer the same fate. In our office, we order boxes of Styrofoam cups. These cups come in bunches of about 25. Each bunch is contained in a plastic wrapper. When someone needs a cup, they will open up a bunch. However, when all the cups have been used up, the plastic wrapper just sits there. No one will throw it away in the trash can. You would think that this is a such a basic expectation, but it is not. Over the day, unless someone else is cleaning up, there could be as many as three or four of those on the countertop.

The worst example is how the trash cans are used. In our kitchen, which is probably about 30 feet by 15 feet, there are four large trash cans. Two of those that are close to coffee makers get used more often. One routinely finds those two cans to be full by about 1:00 in the afternoon. However, people will keep piling up trash within and then on top of those two, and not bother to walk a few feet to use another trash can that is not even a quarter full. After a while, it is an unbelievable mess but that doesn't deter these folks at all. Of course, on the other hand, you should see the care these people exercise in washing their own tupperware.

What bothers me most is that 90% or more of the people in the office portray this sort of behavior. How can so many people have an attitude issue? Perhaps I am wrong. Thankfully, our coffee makers only brew one "disposable" cup at a time.

There is a first time for everything

Most of the time, when one uses this expression, it is to signify something good. Sometimes though, it is very appropriate for silly and downright stupid things as well. I (actually a group of four of us) went through a really embarrassing experience recently which is worth sharing.

On a recent trip out of town, four of us were on the same flight. The flight was scheduled to leave at 12:30 pm. We reached the airport at 11:15 am and had plenty of time to check in our bags and get to the gate area. The flight was supposed to board at 12:10 and everything looked all set. at 12:10, the dreaded announcement came. The plane needed to be de-iced, so it would be delayed anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour. One of us went to the gate agent to confirm the period of delay and was told that it would be at least 45 minutes.

We were all hungry so we went to a small restaurant right next to our gate area and settled down to eat. There was a lively discussion about the American education system with comparisons to the rest of the world. At about 12:40, one of us went over to the gate area to check on the progress. Two minutes later, we saw him running back. I anticipated that perhaps they were ready to board the plane again. To everyone's utter shock, he announced that the plane had already left. It seems that they let it go without de-icing, and it left on time. I am sure that our names were called, but we didn't hear them even sitting so close to the gate area. Since the plane had left the gate, there was nothing that could be done.

We were fortunate to get on the next flight that left at 5:50 pm after spending almost four and half hours at an airport lounge. Our bags were waiting for us when we reached our destination.

Now tell me: how many times have you missed your flight after getting to the gate on time? For the four of us, this was the very first time.